is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
