so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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