What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I think my moral compass just broke
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