I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
