I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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