i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
