Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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