My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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