totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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