I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
