There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
