i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
