God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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