Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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