She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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