Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
