The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
