you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize