smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
