and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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