you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize