i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
