I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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