real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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