i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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