Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
