Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My nipple is on Facebook.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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