A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
