pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
