were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
