I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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