oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
