Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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