I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Princesses don't give blow jobs
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
