Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
