So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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