The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
