the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
