its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
