i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
