If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
