ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
