I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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