mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize