Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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