also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
