The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
