Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
