Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
