you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
