i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
