Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
