I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
