The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
