Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
