sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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