why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
