Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize