Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
