It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
