My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
