im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
