Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
