yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
