I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
