Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
