I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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