somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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