I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
