You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
